Some Things Are Dead And Buried...

I have some updates!

I got some good news the other day, as well as some news that I'm not quite sure what to make of. The odd news is that the doctor called, the ultrasound I had on the sixth showed no cysts. This should be good news considering the fact that a mere nine months ago both ovaries were covered completely in cysts, my problem in this is that they still aren't working, so now I have to wonder what else is wrong with me to cause them not to work.

The good news is that I have a job starting after Memorial Day and I'll be staying with Shanna for a while once I get to Virginia! Three more days until I'm out of Colorado for nine months or so!

I finished packing and cleaning in the extra bedroom today, and packed the kitchen. Now I just have to figure out how the hell I'm going to get this bed to storage by Wednesday morning, that's going to be the hard part, considering more than one person offered to help me move the tough boxes and I ended up doing that myself.

I think I've finally rid myself of an ex that has been messaging me with the guise of attempting to get me back since he dumped me nearly six years ago. It took me a long time to get over him, and I'm not dumb enough to fall into his trap again, even if I wasn't happy in my current situation. He asked if I wanted him to leave me alone, my reply was that I wouldn't mind being friends but I absolutely will not do anything that would compromise my marriage. He hasn't said (typed) a word since.

Tommy called today, he sounded really down and wouldn't tell me why. Now I'm worried, I knew he was sick, but he was in a much better mood the last time we spoke. Granted, one hundred and ten degree heat is enough to make most people a bit cranky, but not like that, he wasn't grouchy, he sounded depressed. I should know soon when he gets to take R&R, that will be nice, then I know what to plan and when. He also wants to have a discussion about the Army when he comes home then, that is another thing that makes me nervous, I don't want him to make a decision based on me or my opinion and he knows that.

Speaking of the Army, I can't remember if I mentioned this in the last post, but my little sister is joining the Reserves when she graduates! She's doing Basic this summer, then AIT next summer after graduation. I'm really proud of her, we talked and it seems she's doing it for the right reasons.

I was watching The Unit last night (I think), and one of the episodes got me thinking about something. First of all, it reminded me of why I have nothing to do with the FRG, if someone tried to trick me into going to church I would probably hit the roof. My religious preference (or lack thereof) is no ones choice but my own. It also made me think about my lack of belief. I used to believe in things, have faith, now it's gone. In a way I miss having something to believe in, a God to blame it on when life shit on me again, but no one can force themselves to believe in something that just isn't logical to them. I'm sure there are people who feel the same way about vegetarianism, in fact, I know there are, I've answered way too many questions about it to think otherwise. I try to answer the questions as honestly as possible, although I'll admit to laughing at people who tell me that God put animals on this planet for us to eat.

Another thing bothering me lately is feeling distanced from people, alone. I've been withdrawing since before Tommy left, I knew it, I can feel it when that happens, it's nothing personal toward anyone, just happens. Sometimes I just need someone to come drag me out of the house, and sometimes I can force myself out to do something, the thing about that is that I don't want to do it by myself. It seems I've been doing everything by myself lately, but that's the reason I'm leaving here, I don't want to feel alone anymore, to have to do everything by myself, and so there's someone to drag me out of the house when I need it.

I changed my layout, it occurred to me that in my attempt to be whimsical I was probably appearing childish. Eventually I'll make my own, but for now I think the sheet music will serve the purpose. Opinions this time?

By The Way, I Made It Through The Day...

Alright, alright, I know I said I would update at least once per week, and I don't even really have a good excuse...unless beating the first two Virtual Villagers games counts as a good excuse. I started a post a few days ago, but my laptop had other plans and restarted itself, deleting the entry. It has been doing that a lot lately, making me wonder if I should take it into Best Buy for a look before I leave for Virginia.

It's been two weeks, Tommy has called me four times since he left, he said it was so I didn't get spoiled into expecting him to call all the time. He's already started working on the things he needs to take care of for his promotion, I'm proud of him for taking that initiative.

Here I am, nine days out from leaving and I still haven't finished cleaning the bedrooms, the bed is still here as well as the tv and a bunch of other things that should be in storage by now. I did get the brakes fixed and made an appointment (that I'm going to have to reschedule) for the crankshaft sensor. So I haven't totally been wasting time. I've put together two boxes for Tommy and have started getting things for the third, which I'll send when I get to Virginia.

I'm not taking the deployment nearly as hard as I thought I would, possibly because right now I have a ton of things to do and a very limited amount of time to get them done. Having things to do, making a plan to do it and following through seem to comfort the control freak in me, keeping me from being a total basketcase right now.

I think that's all for the moment.