The good, the bad, and the beanie

My every other day posting has failed, but don't give up on me yet! I've been on a tech-breaking spree for the past few days. My iPad keypad and the Otterbox on my iPhone have both fallen victim, and the laptop mouse narrowly escaped being drowned in coffee. I do have news, good news at that! I have new soaps coming to the facebook page and Etsy store, and -at the request of my baby sister- will soon be adding solid lotions and deodorants to my inventory! I was also introduced to a packaging company out of Nashville that makes pretty things to sell my things in that are cheap enough for me not to have to raise my prices to use them. Huzzah for cheap, pretty packaging! :) I've also been considering doing baskets or something like it, for new moms, a little pampering kit with bath things and maybe a lotion or something. I was going to start piecing one together today, but I ran out of time before I finally found lavender oil.

Also, I've been playing quite a bit of WoW, so if you're Alliance on Dalaran, be my friend! I'm bringyouhell#1780 on battle.net And no, I don't play a human. I'm new to WoW, but I'm not at all new to gaming. Never play a human when you can avoid it, D&D taught me that. M told me to always be horde, always. The problem is, she never explained why, and I tried both, just to see if I could figure it out for myself. I couldn't, and I have more fun playing my Draenei than my Tauren. I still think it looks silly, DDO has WoW beat by miles with the graphics, but I refuse to play DDO or Neverwinter while they're on 4E rules because 4E is awful. Who ever heard of a barbarian that couldn't hit anything?? Not me, until I played 4E with my PNP group. 4E nerfed the barbarian so bad I couldn't hit the broad size of an ogre, or demonic crocodile, as the case may have been. 3.5 for life!

I don't play co-op games on Xbox Live much, but I do occasionally, and I always welcome a fellow adventurer. That gamertag is BringYouHell

As promised: The Grown Up Beanie

Mine was done with bulky weight yarn and a K (6.5mm) hook, as with the baby beanie, pattern may need to be adjusted based on your hook size and the weight of your yarn

Chain 4, slip stitch together

Row 1: Chain 3, counts as first stitch, ten double crochet in circle, slip stitch together

Row 2: Chain 3, two double crochet in each stitch around, slip stitch together

Row 3: Chain 3, two double crochet in each stitch around, slip stitch together.

Row 4: Chain 3, 2 double crochet in first stitch, 1 double crochet in next stitches, repeat all the way around, slip stitch together

Row 5: Chain 3, 2 double crochet in first stitch, 1 double crochet in next 4 stitches, repeat all the way around, slip stitch together

Rows 6-12: Chain 3, one double crochet in each stitch around, slip stitch together

Finish off, weave in ends.

Feel free to email me with any questions about the pattern, and be on the lookout for new Knots and Bubbles products as they'll debut here before Facebook or Etsy!

Soup and Nonsense

I fixed the previous post, the pattern is no longer lumped into all of the text!

I mentioned recipes in the last post, didn't I? So, I'm vegetarian, my husband is not, he's been a very good sport about trying just about any recipe I get it into my head to try. This means, we eat meatless the majority of the time. This recipe is one I found on All recipes, we loved it so much that we used the some of the leftover as sauce on our tortellini. Fair warning: this recipe makes a TON. (I seriously have at least half a gallon left.) Also, butternut squash are a beast to cut if you have cheap knives.

Butternut Squash-Sweet Potato Ginger Bisque

2lb Butternut squash peeled, seeded, and cut into chunks 4 sweet potatoes 1 onion, peeled and chopped

1 (2 inch) piece of ginger 3 cloves garlic peeled and sliced 1 1/2 qts water or enough to cover

1 cup plain yogurt, or to taste salt and pepper to taste

Place the squash, sweet potatoes, onion, ginger, and garlic in a large pot. Pour in enough water to cover the vegetables. (I used two containers of vegetable stock plus two cups of water.) Bring to simmer over medium heat, and cook until vegetables are tender and can be easily pierced with a fork, 30 to 45 minutes.

Remove pot from heat. Place soup in batches into a blender or the bowl of a food processor. Pulse until smooth. Return soup to pot, and whisk in yogurt. Season with salt and pepper to taste. If necessary, reheat soup over low heat, but do not allow to boil.

My blender isn't the best, but the soup still turned out fantastic.


I tried to link my Etsy store and the Knots and Bubbles facebook page in the last post, but the links disappeared. I'll keep working on that.

I may, at some point, continue where the other entry left off the story of what happened while I was away for three years. Just not today.

I do have more patterns coming! I was asked about a (grown up) beanie pattern, and I finished that this morning, so it'll probably be next entry.

Nothing terribly exciting going on around here. I was supposed to be starting back to school this month, but there was an issue with my FAFSA that I didn't get fixed in time, so I'll have to wait until next term. I actually found a school that offers a bachelors in Forensic Psychology! I'll still most likely need a Ph.D to get a job in the field, but at least I'm not stuck in strictly criminal justice courses until I get to that level.

Until next time. :)

A Different Direction

This is a blog I've had for a while, and I've decided to transform it into something better. If I have new readers, welcome! To anyone who read it from the start, welcome back! Anyway. There is so much more to the story in the previous post, gaining a step-daughter, going bugshit at my wedding reception, a new fitness plan, baking, and new crochet patterns, as well as Knots and Bubbles!
First off, I promised patterns for the NILMDTS project, so here is the first:

Baby Beanie
I'm using an H (5mm) hook, and Caron Simply Soft yarn, patterns will differ based on hook size and yarn weight.
Chain four, join with slip stitch to form ring

Row 1: Chain three, nine double crochet in ring join with slip stitch (10 double crochet)

Row 2: Chain three, two double crochet in each stitch around, join with slip stitch (20 double crochet)

Row 3: Chain three, double crochet in first stitch, two double crochet in second stitch, repeat all the way around, join with slip stitch (30 double crochet)

Row 4: Chain three, one double crochet in first two stitches, two double crochet in next stitch, repeat all the way around, join with slip stitch (40 double crochet)

Row 5: Chain three, one double crochet in first three stitches, two double crochet in next stitch, repeat all the way around, join with slip stitch (52 double crochet)

Rows 6-10: Chain three, one double crochet in each stitch around, join with slip stitch (52 double crochet)

Finish off and weave in ends.

If you would prefer to have the hat a bit longer, or have a bit of a 'band' on it 4-5 rows of single crochet (one single per stitch all the way around) is a good finishing touch. Any questions or issues with the pattern, feel free to comment or contact me and I'll help as much as I can.


In other news, I started my own home business! Knots and Bubbles makes soaps, body scrubs, and custom crochet items. I have an Etsy store now, and a Facebook page :)

Keep checking back for more patterns, progress on the NILMDTS project, and some recipes I have to share!

The Season's Ripe For Change...

Maybe I should have started a whole new blog for this, but considering the current state of my life, building something entirely new on the skeleton of what was seemed appropriate. I don't know who -or even if- anyone reads this, or ever has, but that's okay. I need to write this, for myself. This is the first installment of the story of how I tore my life apart, and how I'm working to rebuild it... I believe the last entry here was posted around August of 2011, so much has happened since then. 

Let's start from the beginning, shall we? In October of 2011, I was informed that my grandmother had been sent to the Hospice home, we agreed that I should go see her since I hadn't in years. I left on Halloween, took a bus to Denver, then a train all the way to my hometown, Jackson, Michigan. He wouldn't even drive me to Denver, not just to save us $30 that we really didn't have to spend, but to say goodbye, all because he didn't want to deal with the traffic. One of the things I alluded to, but never outright said, was the fact that the guilt of taking away my husbands chance to be a father was tearing me apart inside. Something was getting to him as well. The bus station was only one of many instances where he couldn't be bothered to take a small step to show he cared. Things at home had been less than happy for a while, it had gotten to the point where he would barely speak to me, spent all of his time in the Man Cave playing video games, and seemed irritated if I wanted to speak to him after being trapped in that apartment all day with no one to talk to but a rabbit, cat, and guinea pig. All of these things plagued me while I was in Michigan, made me wonder if going back was the right thing to do. By January of 2012, I decided that going back was not the right thing to do. We had both been unhappy since I had come out with the news of no more fertility treatments, I gave him an open out, he was free to walk away at any time and I would completely understand. He was afraid of what people would think of him for leaving me because I couldn't have children, so he refused to make that decision. Instead, we just lived a broken life, clinging to our pain and never solving anything. So, I told him I wasn't coming back to Colorado and I wanted a divorce. He didn't take it well, at all. I hope one day he'll understand that I did it not because I hated him or was angry, but because I loved him enough to want him happy, even if it cost me everything. Eventually, it did. He never really fought to keep me, tried to bully me into marriage counseling, but I refused, no amount of counseling could fix my broken body or give us children, so why put ourselves through that? I found a job back home, working in a factory, got my own apartment and by May of 2012 was beginning to make a life for myself there. 

Then, all hell broke loose. One night in May, I went outside for my 3am break at work and had a missed call from my best friends husband and an eerily calm voicemail from him saying that something had happened and I needed to call him back asap. Thus began the worst week of my life. I called J back to find out that M had had a stroke, she had an extremely rare medical condition that no one knew about, including her, but she was expected to make a full recovery. That was Wednesday, Friday she had a series of strokes that the doctors couldn't stop, Sunday they pulled her life support. What?! She had just turned 23?!! Through the calls, I stayed calm and let J be upset, and assured him that I would be there as soon as I could get rid of the apartment. I was back in Tennessee within a week. After losing M, I completely shut down. J was gone to California by the time I arrived at the house, leaving me alone, in their house, the house where so many times M and I had stayed up too late talking, making memories that I still cling to desperately.  

I wrote this over a year ago, until now, I thought it had been lost when the motherboard in my MacBook was fried.  Even more has happened since, but those are things for new entries.  

I still miss M every single day.  I haven't seen G since she was eight months old, and J and I had a falling out and have since lost contact.  A fact that makes me incredibly sad.  I keep contact with M's sister and father, and through them occasionally get to see pictures of G.  She's looking more and more like her mommy as she grows.  I can't believe she's going to be 5 soon.  

The Sun May Shine, But The Darkness Will Remain...

I said I was going to get better at updating this thing, didn't I? Oops. I've been such an epic fail at keeping it updated for so long that I doubt anyone even reads it any more.

hmm.. what's happened since April? Quite a bit, actually. The military ball was the day after I last posted.




I made a blanket right before we left that's still hanging around. I've decided to donate it to The Evelyn Rose Foundation, a friends non-profit that also does Precious Memories Gift Baskets.



Leave was in May, it was a giant stress-fest that I could have done without.





While on leave we celebrated my mother in laws birthday.


And she snatched A's wig from the church play.


In June, my sister graduated. I'm so proud of that little turd, it was a long road.




My niece came back from Michigan with us.


She got her first dangly earrings and got to see 'the big red rocks' (Garden of the Gods) all in one day.


Wore my Social Distortion t-shirts more than I have in the two weeks she was here. Her new favorite song is Machine Gun Blues, she has pretty good taste for a five year old.


She asked me to make her an eye patch, then spent an entire evening running around our apartment saying 'Arr me ladies!'


My other sister came to pick her up and brought the younger ones, it was pretty chaotic here for a few days. I, of course, only remembered to take one picture. The littlest one wearing Tommy's shoes.


After everyone was gone, I went back to my usual activities, turning piles of yarn into stuff for people.



Now I'm working on a blanket that I've had to start three times, it's quickly becoming the bane of my existence.


I think that's pretty much everything I needed to share. I'll try not to wait another four and a half months to update.

In The Land of Dirt and Plaster...

I know it's been a while since I updated here. The last few months have been absolute chaos for me, both situations and in my head. Quite a few things have happened since the last post.

December:
Discovered that I'm suddenly allergic to Sulfa thanks to a sinus infection, that was a scary experience.

Moved out of the house in Rocky Mount and took off to Michigan to spend Christmas with friends and family.

Laptop died.

January:

Fought snow back home most of the month.

Spent time with J and H and baby A, had an awesome time!

Got back in touch with Kirk's amazing family and got to play some D&D with them! I didn't realize how very much I missed being part of that family until I spent time with them again. It was very bittersweet having to leave so soon after finding out it was okay, that they didn't hate me after all.

Headed for Tennessee to make sure I was around for M and baby G when J deployed. J gave me his Mac since he got a new laptop for the deployment and they didn't want me to be without a way to talk to Tommy while he was still gone.

February:

Spent time with M and baby G until they left for Cali for part of J's deployment.

Made baby G a blanket for her first birthday.

Got in touch with a couple of old friends at Ft Campbell.

Found apartment here in Colorado.

Hung out with C and her kidlets. Taught the oldest one to say a few select phrases, oops! Apparently, 'oh hell' and 'kick him in the dick' aren't things a two year old should say.

March:

Left Tennessee, headed for Colorado. Stopped in Oklahoma to spend a couple days with S and her hubby and little one. It's hard to believe that the last time I saw them the baby was only 6 months old, now she's running and starting to talk!

Tommy came home three days after I arrived in Colorado Springs.

I joined a few meetup groups in hopes of making whatever time we have left here slightly less miserable than the first year was.

Met Tommy's battle buddy and his wife, they're awesome. We have been hanging out with them, it's always an adventure.

Nothing particularly new this month, been crocheting, playing 360, getting the house settled, trying to get back into the routine of having him home. Still fighting the darkness inside.

Went to the doctor today, back on allergy meds and Metformin I go!

There have been a few other things, and a lot of reflection, maybe I'll get to that later.

I'll Just Keep The Rest Of Me

A couple of new updates here, I've finished the first book in the Dexter series and am about thirty pages from finishing the second. I've also nearly finished the afore mentioned 'clearing out' of some of the negative things in my life. I woke up (entirely too early) this morning with a sense of liberation, a weight off of me that, until now, I hadn't even realized was there. I suppose ridding oneself of a source of torment does that to a person.

On to the book reviews!

The Rainbow by D.H. Lawrence was good, engaging and detailed, telling the story of a family over a few generations. It definitely left me wondering what next at the end though.

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, I honestly didn't finish it. I tried, made it about halfway through and finally just gave up on it. Perhaps I was in the wrong state of mind to enjoy its whimsy, but all I could think as I was reading it was 'this is dumb.'

Darkly Dreaming Dexter by Jeff Lindsay, at the beginning it's very predictable if you've watched the series, toward the end of the book the series did veer off of the original storyline. It was a nice surprise. I'm not terribly impressed with the authors style, especially in this one, it's rather amateurish, but I love the story, so I'll continue on with the series. I did notice an improvement in his writing in the second book.

Now I just need to find the next two in mass market paperback so they match my copies of the first two. That's the problem with sets, I'm meticulous about my bookshelf and they all must be uniform, in the same size, together, in order on the shelf.

I found out the other day that apparently I only have two weeks to pack and move if I still plan to go to Michigan to spend Christmas with my family there. The house was being showed to a potential tenant yesterday afternoon. I've finally started my search for a place in Colorado, but it looks as though finding a house closer and that has at the very least a washer and dryer, for less than or equal to what we were paying for the apartment is impossible. Without help from someone I know there, all I know is that is listed on the internet, usually the apartments or high rent houses for rent or sale. We will not buy there, we hate it too much.

It seems, with my newly found liberation has also come a lull in the battle with the darkness within me. The beast is quieted, for the moment, it's cries of rage only echoes in my heart.

Some things are better off forgotten, we bury them in places that we really only visit by ourselves...

-Stone Sour (Imperfect)