Here we are; mere hours away from Tommys departure, and we're doing what? He's playing with iTunes and I'm typing my thoughts to...who, exactly? I would love to be sleeping right now, but I'm afraid of missing out on time with him, and I know that if I do manage to fall asleep one of two things will happen: he'll fall asleep and we'll be late, or he'll find a way to wake me accidentally. So, to entertain myself, I thought I would sit here and update this thing. Update it with exactly what, I'm not sure, but there has to be something...I think.
I'm ridiculously, pathetically addicted to Sorority Life on Facebook. Lame, I know, but it's a distraction, and it works well most of the time. Unfortunately, I'm at such a high level that it takes forever to advance and I'm getting bored with it.
I think I may finally have gotten the chevron crochet pattern down! It took me a few attempts to do it, and at least two repeats on one of the blankets I'm currently making. If you're planning to learn this pattern, mind the edges! Even once you've mastered the pattern, the edges will still try to trip you up. Oh, and always crochet into the stitches, not between them, it will not work at all if you go between.
I've been having a recurring dream lately, of my first love, and perhaps the consequences to ensue if I decide to allow him to be part of my life in any way again. In the dream, everything is beautiful and I'm driving. He's standing alongside the road, and being someone I've known for ten years and trusted implicitly at one point, I pick him up. That's when the vines start, thick, black vines that wind through everything in my life, disintegrating everyone and everything they touch. Eventually there is nothing left, only he and I and the car we were traveling in, I'm terrified. Then I wake up, every time with a headache. I've never been much good at interpreting my own dreams, but this one seems pretty clear - that I'll destroy all of the beautiful things in my life if I allow him to be part of it again. He is eligible to get out of prison next year, and I had thought about being his friend again, mostly because I've always trusted him, I trust so few people that it's comforting to have another. I get the feeling this dream is warning me against that, especially since it keeps coming back, and he seems to be the catalyst, the vines come with him...or from him? The funny thing is that in the dream I seem to be lacking the clarity I have in waking life, to see that he is the cause of the problem, instead, I turn to him for rescue. Perhaps it's my subconscious reconciling itself to the nearly five years I spent doing exactly that. Maybe I'm finally getting some closure, in my own strange way.
The DVD I pre-ordered over a month ago came in yesterday! The Suicide Girls Guide to Living, it's fabulous. The first segment is probably my favorite, Fractal is stunning.
I don't think I have any pics to post today...maybe some makeup or something? Not on this memory card, probably nothing on the phone either.
The car wash ate my ribbon, I'm pissed about that. Tammy sent me a nice October 15th ribbon, and the damn car wash ripped it off, now where the hell do I find another one? Even if I do, it won't be the same.
Okay, that's enough for now, I'm going to try to convince him to sleep for a little while. I've been awake since around ten a.m., there's no way I'll last until who knows when in the afternoon.
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